Soul talk with my child

       

Soul talks

     It's just hearing impairment ... ya right it's just so simple! Yet no one would understand what comes with just " one disability". Amount one has to deal with is a story only a family of a child who has special needs can tell. Every story is different and each have their levels to deal with and goals to achieve. Ours affects her hearing, speech, intelligence, education and social acceptance.

      This evening she gave up.... like many other times. The school pressure here is immense, so much so that she has no time for herself most days. Having hearing loss brings a lot of mental and physical exhaustion trying to deal with so much info given and trying to concentrate on hearing it right and making sense of it all.  The piled up work never seems to get over and to top it she has deal with a lot of isolation and insensitive behavior of people around. She is an extremely hardworking child, perfectionist, fighter and is ready to put up a fight against all odds. She is sensitive as she has seen a lot in her life. She knows what is struggle. Small things have meant big for us as family. She knows a mean look to a warm look. She knows what not having something means. She is learning to walk away, learning to accept that people cannot change, we have have to change ourselves. She is learning to question bad behavior, learning how not to be and how she should better herself. She is eager to help those who need help because she knows what it truly means. She is grateful for every bit of help because she knows what not  having means and that little help was her world that time. As a family our values have changed and become stronger. She sees me helping others and she learns that it's important to do so. Her struggle to find her ways in the crazy world is far more than we can imagine. Yet she doesn't give up. She stands up after every fall. Today was one of such days. 

    Exhausted from too much work and dealing with insensitive remarks at school just got too much. She had Technology work that needed lot of research and work done over a month. She realized she can't do the webpage designing on a MacBook and as we don't have a MS word she was trying on Edit. After much work at home and then by a lot of support from my kind neighbor, she realized her research was wrong!!! Poor kid was devastated as tomorrow is her submission. I told her I will help by doing a bit of research with her and see where I can support. She said ...." I give up !"  When I said I can help... she said.... I will give another try ma. She and I sat and discussed how we can put it together and how instead of struggling more and trying complete and again failing.... we make choice where we take the offer of the teacher and work at school and invest that extra time at home for other things or resting her tired brain. 

    Moving to dinner table, our conversation moved to a different level. She was exhausted and empty completely. Yet these talks are important. We talked about life in general and realized how much we need to work each day to make it. She and I discussed how we can't just give up on our dreams and have to keep proving ourselves. I often relate my life incidents as examples for them to follow through. After all what I have been through hasn't been easy. Much I can disclose, a lot remains in my heart as I need to respect few relationships and people. Many of my close friends wonder how I can be so strong after seeing through so much, but then life is a teacher and we have to bear our crosses. So shall she. Her frustrations are real and much as I try, I can only help her that much. I talked to her and I find she is so much stronger than I am at her age. having a disabilty made her very strong and gives her the power to know herself much better than most her age. Telling her and affirming her own power and then to walk from there... is something I help with. That gives her the feeling that she is doing right and moves with conviction. With her disabilty, its much harder as its not a seen one and hence no one understand how much it affects her life! So this power she has to have it in her own hands now and always. As a mum, I need to lead her there.
   
       As we ended our talk, I realize how much mature my child is and how much I am able to understand her better with these talks. Often sitting down and expressing fears and using examples of life gone by, we can help them to work better and be more motivated about the life that's still waiting for them. We as parents need to be that support that helps them to lead them back to their own selves. Letting them find their path when they are lost and motivate themselves when they are low and finding out what works for them is something they need to learn and as parents we need to help them by having these "soul talks" with your child.