Say a firm “NO”

Why are we scared to address our kids, refuse few things and to just firmly say a no? Why do we give in to everything they want or need? Why do we want to overprotect them and are so afraid they will be hurt...we are afraid to hurt their feelings , why? Why do we make them feel that they are extremely privileged and have a right to get away with anything? And when situation demands they behave a certain way and they can’t ... we justify their wrong actions! Do we remember ourselves as kids when we did not have this much liberty? This is even more applicable to the special needs child! Having one or two kids these days is a norm and of one is special needs...every rule is bent for that child. My kids grew up with rules and discipline and they knew the reasons and the logic. If it applied to my son it applied to my deaf daughter. No exceptions, no privileges and no obligations. More parents are afraid to say a firm “no”! Is it that hard? We don’t realize we are handicapping them further by giving in to every whim and fancy. They quickly learn that they are “special” in many ways! Life gets difficult when these kids grow up and are expected to change their behavior in public. If they don’t, parents have to give out special offers or bribes and if that is not acceptable, they decide to stay away from public as it’s hard to be judged. Easiest in my view is to teach the special child the same values as your normal child. It gives us advantages...
1. They learn the rules and discipline.
2. They are treated as normal kids.
3. Reducing scope of future tantrums.
4. There is a lot of language exchanged which is another opportunity to increase their vocabulary.
5. You make them independent for a future life and prepared for society.
6. It gives you independence in the future as a parent as you wean them off. You don’t need to be tied for life with that child’s tantrum.
7. Society doesn’t need a bad behavior as parents are afraid to say a no.
8. Saving yourself an embarrassment in public by a tantrum.
As parents of special kids we have a special responsibility. Let’s not burden them with additional handicap. They know no better and hence it’s we who as adults have to support their growth in a positive way. By making them realize the power of no we empower them for life. They are prepared for the world and don’t need an undesired behavior. A “no” can be handled in many ways...at times a firm and at times a soft and at times a distraction! It’s just we as parents who need to hold ourselves and our hearts and do the work. Of course it’s a lot of work and intense sessions. But then as parents it’s for the long term benefit of the child and we as parents...so just go parents...gear up...get your act together and just say a firm ...”NO”! Say it as you LOVE your child. It’s for their future!