Choosing a new school

Find my ART

  Prisha moving schools has always been more concerning keeping in mind our needs for her. We are not over protective and over bearing parents yet we have certain things that need to be in place. having seen 2.5 years in this school we knew it was time to move on further. We are not new to moving schools. Having had two kids and with a age gap of 7.5 years between them has given us a bigger chance of a couple more.
    A dear friend suggested this new school to me one night as we caught up over a sombre mood. I was pretty low and out and needed some emotional support specially from some one who knows what Jakarta life is all about. At times we parents who have differently abled kids close ourselves and not discuss much with others as we are tired of being judged, being labeled as difficult parents, "always having problems unnecessarily" parents or explaining constantly. Its so much easier to be less hurt that way than being avoided or whispered about. She suggested saying it was a small school with fewer kids in each class and was an Advanced Placement curriculum. It sounded good from what she said but as always the fears were high. Moving school meant moving a home as well plus again the whole circle of explanation and adjustment at school. Every school has its set of issues as well.Yet I planned to go visit it.
    I walked in and spoke to the Vice principal and then was taken around the school. The place looked more like home, smaller set up and carpeted floors and each class had 4-5 students. Two years are combined as well. As I walked confused and a bit lost, I met the Media and film making subject teacher. She was very welcoming and I realized she was German! A bond was created and hearing my story, she had tears and hugged me many times. She felt I should look around be comfortable and only then take the decision. But its not as easy.....isn't it. Every school shows only good stuff to sell itself and you only know about issues once you enter it as a regular. I met the counselor also a German and we talked an hour about us. Decision wasn't easy but knowing well that the old school wasn't even a choice I was open to it. JIS ....another International school and the most expensive and talked about was the other end. My choice were also bound by the fact that my home was under lease till July and hence could not move to the other end of the city as well now. Staying in the old school wasn't at a choice I kept in my mind no matter what. Also after discussing with many people, I realized handling issues in a smaller school was much easier than a large one. Groups in classes of various communities isn't easy to break either. Challenges were so many and it can bog your morale down. Few supportive hands who help you through give you courage to take the already "no other choice" decision. Reconciled with the facts of life and believed in the larger good that perhaps destiny was showing was the only way to go. Too many coincidences in those 3 hours at school which would take 10 minutes to just walk through end to end.
    Meeting the two German teachers, gave me a kind of solace. As I walked to the staff room I met the English teacher who would teacher as well. And .....he had taught in a deaf school and was into speech therapy !!! That gave me a pep up to my confused spirits. I decided to also move to the art room as a preference as Prisha had lost precious 2.5 years of art and we missed it too much. The teacher was from the US and showed me his work. It just made me feel so good to see what she could be learning and how much she would love it. He was inspiring and very encouraging. I showed him her art work which we kept alive at home in the little time to keep ourselves afloat from the deep stress we had been into. He was impressed and said the kind of work we are doing is what his aim is to teach his kids. The techniques and stuff we did ....she was at an advanced level of art! It warmed my heart and I thought of Joni....our most inspiring teacher at FIS, Germany. No one could possibly replace her and yet this was a good option.

Sharing space with the school Heads

    I came back home positive and yet confused. Spoke to Prisha and my husband and we decided to go and see the school as family again. We researched about the AP system and stopped over thinking. Millions have gone through various curriculums and we have to have faith in ourselves and above all our child. My son in Nederlands worries about us yet suddenly I realize he is like one of the adults and we 3 should focus on Prisha now. It is a very difficult and nerve wreaking experience. International communities aren't easy to work with. I realize though that the West is very open towards disabilties and it would be right for her to be where she isn't judged and isolated. The western world would embrace her much better. Having move 3 countries, 5 schools and 3rd international school in her life span of 13 years was quite overwhelming already. She already had been through a lot. 4th International school, different curriculum...hmmm....had to think of her emotional state. I feel I have turned into a good face reader and a psychologist. I can read body language and its easy for me to read people and know how they would react or what is in their mind very well.....thanks to being an observer all my life being a quiet person in early years and being such a hands on person as well. Last few years having counseled so many mums and kids besides my own has made me non judgmental, resilient and sensitive to hurt of others. How could I not think of my own? Yet I also know at the moment the decision we take may look different down the years and I should not kill myself for it. Prisha is a survivor and a fighter with great spirit. The bond I have with my kids give me immense strength as they know their mum shall always place their needs over hers. She has never ever blamed or been upset with how ever I treated her for her growth. I have sat with them and given them reasons for my actions and hence could take this forward with more confidence.
    We met the school head and what I thought was nice was ...."why make it harder".....she had it hard all her life and she needed some respite. We met a few subject teachers and my husband saw the technical parts of it all. The books, study material etc which goes above my head. As we were convinced and were walking back I chanced upon a bunch of 9,10 graders....I ran to quickly meet them. They are the best to tell us! When I named our old school they pulled one young boy out who had moved from the very school she was in. He stammered and hence the kids bullied him a lot there as well. He had low self esteem and after moving here , he had improved in just 3 months. His grades got better,he got better at speech, English improved and stammering reduced. After our interactions we decided we should give it a go ahead.
       Prisha was nervous, naturally so.....and so were we but with the choices we had and support from few experiences of friends we decided to let her take trial classes. She went in two days and really loved it. Kids were friendly, supportive and repeated when she asked for help. There were 7 students in all and teachers were helpful and she loved their openness. Of course she would take time to be less fearful which she acquired from her old school , we knew. But the fact she returned happy and relaxed talking good things was good. She was confused and was hanging between a known and an unknown devil. I asked her to list 5 good and 5 not so good about both schools. To her old school she just said she had one good thing....her English teacher Ms. Shalja who had warmed up to her this year. The choice was easy then. We decided to go ahead with our decision. I was ready to do the hand holding and be the counselor on call 24*7 as always for her and help in smooth transition. Having mentored kids in International school of Duesseldorf and support them through transitioning helped me understand the stress they go through in moving countries and schools. And she has moved many , this being her 4th in 7 years!
    Being a mum can make you an expert in many professions in one anyways and if you are a sensitive mum and have a special need child....you end up having an edge. Having seen a big picture in the moves last few years has made me a more empathetic person towards parents with special needs kids. Meeting people from international communities, interacting, teaching and also giving my many talks into international forums changes your entire perspective of life. The 1 year of substitute teaching experience in International school in Germany has given me insights which I think no book would have taught me. Life is the best teacher and the journey is the best book possible. I have learnt to be patient, resilient, non judgmental and learnt to give space to others and myself. Work hard and give your best is what I do and teach my kids as well. Hence decided to move her to the new school NJIS as it is called, a part of JIS in the past and school around for 25 years.....North Jakarta Intercultural school ! Here we come. Lets see what you have for us!