Mindset

Today ma'm was pretty upset as the new moms were not following what she has been telling them for so long.It is sad , as a little firmness in tone does make all the difference in the child's attitude.We learn to pamper our kids so much fearing that they already have a deficiency , so we must not hurt them more.It is true that this attitude really handicaps the child.That firm tone and the sharp tone, the expressions in my voice has made my girl very expressive and has learnt to react accordingly.The child should with the tone and expression and intonation know the meaning and feel of the topic.Slowly he\she learns to understand the words that fill the sentence.
Ma'm by being does never mean hit the child or punish him.It is to show the disapproval.Chlidren react to mom's expressions the most, they want to always please her.It takes a while to get that message across to the child that he has to listen , but once it goes through , the child gets into that mind frame of learning.As a mom I too hated initially to correct the POOR child, hurt her, not to cajole her all the the time, but now I am realising the its benefits. My girl reacts to everything faster and does have a right frame of mind to learn.She realises the importance of my corrections.It takes , to my experience about 1 yr for the child to get the message that mom means business and she follows just about any instruction that I give her.Every body in my family says that she only listens to me , but has anybody made that effort for her to listen to them?It was very difficult for them to be firm.I am her mom, imagine how tough it must have been for me.But today I am happy.I thank my mom for this .She too was a tough mom and so it made me a good and strong person.I got the right values.I love my girl immensely and being firm and a disciplinarian does not make me love her any less.Today because of my strict nature she has reached ahead when she can integrate into normal atmosphere.Because I love her , I am strict with her.A strict teacher in school has the best results from her students.So go ahead if you love your child for his\her sake be firm and ask for results.Push her to perform and never be satisfied with anything less.

A new lesson

Last week I tried a new concept of ' WHY '.It is very difficult to make a 3 yr old this concept.It is not something you can touch or feel.After a long thought , I tried asking her questions relating to her.Eg..Why do you want food?[when she asked me for it].She started to think and said..I don't know.I gave her the answer....Because I am hungry.Of course I wanted a full sentence each time.The same I tried with sleep, thirst,going to park etc, things she can relate too.It is also important that one uses it at the right time ,that is, at a time when she wants that particular thing, so that explaining is easy.I also use a lot of negative cross questioning.eg
You want to go to the park because you want to sleep?
she says at once...noooooo, because I want to go to the swing.
It works with most questions.A small child like that needs a lot of explaining but soon learns to understand the concept.

a new language

Last few days I am noticing that my girl is picking up a lot new hindi words.She realises that we do between ourselves speak a different language.She tries to understand it and act accordingly.Thanks to her training with ma'm, she is able to understand what is happening with our expressions, intonations and voices.The other day water fell down on her dress and she ran to me and said-'pani fell down.' It was so funny and I was left with my mouth open.She does use- hatto, arre,pheko.It is quite a relief to see her picking up new words.These days I am not doing too much talking and I see her regress.At times I do feel tired and don't feel like doing the whole process of correction.

Counseling

When a mom discovers a child with deafness [ for that matter any handicap], It is one of the toughest part in her life.To accept that her beloved child has a flaw ,is very difficult for her and at that time she needs someone to see her through.Counselling her through that phase so that the child gets the best help possible is important.In India it is still not so .There is hardly any counselling done.I feel it affects the child a lot.Till the time I was weak and sad and depressed, my girl really was ignored and left out.Luckily I came out pretty quickly to look for help.Once the mom is strong the family around too sits up to see the gravity of the situation.All help and information starts to come in.

If the councillor empathises with the parents and can answer all their questions life does become easy to decide the plan of action.There is hardly any advise that is given.In fact lot of people have got wrong advise that benefits the seller of aids.It is years before they realize what harm has been done.Some mothers are strong enough but I have seen a lot of family break ups as the majority of the responsibility of the child lands up with the mom and some fathers think it was her fault that such a child is born.People follow the audiologist blindly and not all of them can be trusted.
A good counsellor will make sure that all adequate answers are found out for the problems that the family faces.
Advice is needed for ....
-Acceptance of the child with the disability.
-helping the mom and family to cope with it.
-Helping them to realize that the world has not ended and life has to be faced to help the child.
-sometimes financial burden is difficult to deal with.
-Child's need are primary and so his/her all round capability has to be looked after and nurtured.
-a better understanding between parents and child .
-Helping the child to learn to deal with it.If parents are ashamed of the child , the child will never be able to deal with it.
-building up child's confidence to help in dealing with the disability.
-Ways of dealing with the society and questions raised by them.
-helping the family to deal with day to day problems relating to child.
-Dealing with psychological and emotional breakdowns.
These are some of the common points where if proper advice is given , it would help the family to come around and provide a wholesome environment for the child to grow into a confident and able human being.