Friday, September 23, 2016

Humbling to get a feedback

Every once in a while I question myself about what I do. As soon as Prisha was integrated into speech and I could see her talking , I started to write and spread maam's message that deaf kids can talk. I didn't think I had any writing skills nor did I think I had enough knowledge and material to talk about it. Yet my wish to show how it's possible and to tell the wrong doers that they are wrong was very strong. Perhaps my one post could give hope to a desperate parent, another may find solace that they are not the only one who are depressed, one more may find a step towards a direction and yet another could actually follow it all the way. That was foremost in my mind. Could not keep my journey just for myself. Someone as desperate and miserable needs hope. That made me keep writing. Wasn't easy to keep it going since 2006. Yet I did. Not too many comments left, not many to ask but few did send mails and messages to say how it has helped them. I would see the meter and know how many are seeing what's on my blog and that kept me going. But there is always a hope that the posts and YouTube uploads shall help someone. 

After opening the group on Facebook AVT support for hearing impaired kids, I am hoping more would join in and seek support. India doesn't have much to offer with deafness. So much struggle to get one thing. Wrong practices and advise in deafness, money making on the hapless parents and implants that don't work..... This and more hurts me. This is why more efforts despite not knowing what's right and wrong. The talks, the skype calls, msgs and calls kept me going when someone got the right advise and benefited with my little work. 

Yesterday I received one such message on the group. She has been following my blog since her daughter was detected. After her daughter turned 7 , she got time and found the group and joined and messaged me. The fact that someone read those posts and has found a way was very motivating. She moved to the US got help and must be doing well. I am humbled that one small effort could help another parent and the child is integrated. She would share her story she said and I am excited to know her journey. Having found just my blog as help she moved on to find help and has continued reading it. Such stories inspire and motivate me and tell me.... Ruchi don't stop , you have miles to go before you sleep or put up your feet and say enough. Thank you "S" for coming by   I am humbled and till you decide to share your story , you remain S and I shall wait to write your story on my small space here. This blog is a small humble offering to my teacher mentor Mrs. Hudlikar and the deaf community that wants to speak. And yes I shall continue my writing as long as I have things to share. 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Research on deafness

Awaiting good news since 11 years and counting. Will never stop dreaming that some day science shall give her normal hearing. Here is the latest. The signs of good things to come. Some day the deaf will get good hearing. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Give clearer instructions to deaf kids

Be specific with instructions to deaf kids specially while giving them corrections. Just saying " I can't hear" " speak clearly" " I can't understand" "repeat " isn't going to make them understand why and what. Tell them specifically...." You are too soft and garbled" " you are speaking too fast" " your mouth is open and hence it sounds garbled" " your sentence formation isn't correct and hence repeat" or "I wasn't listening and hence repeat ". It would give a chance to the child to analyze and understand their mistakes better and they can hence make fewer mistakes by thinking before speaking. It's going to be easier for them and easier on you. A more broad statement only shall confuse the child further and the child feels intimidated for being corrected constantly. Specific instructions are a short cut towards clearer and open lines of communication. Don't underestimate the child's understanding. It's not easy for them to take corrections constantly. But by giving them clearer instructions, you are respecting their efforts and helping them analyze their own efforts. That's more encouraging than just a straight statement..,I didn't understand speak again. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Inspiring video of a deaf singer

If she can do it why can't our kids do it!! Amazing inspiring video of a deaf girl who sings without hearing herself. It just proves that it's all about how much you are motivated and inspired to do what you want to. Every thing we do needs hard work and dedication. Thank you Alpana for this share. May our kids be inspired and motivated should make a mark on this tough chosen path. 
Prisha has chosen to learn music too and looking at this I feel so happy that we started her exposure to music and singing way to early and she learnt to sing and compose songs herself. Now hoping to see her keyboard create more magic as she grows. Pls show this video to your kids too when they say they can't hear music or can't do it. We can only learn from examples. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Signs and spoken language

Conflicts of a deaf person who had so much to choose from. Sometimes decisions are tough. We are personally happy with choosing spoken over signs as she sings and dances, listens to music and speaks on phone too.

How hearing aids work

How a hearing aid works. A good link to understand hearings aids and his different ones work.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Deaf or hearing impaired

Often parents worry about the deafness and terms used and associated with them. Does it really matter? The child can't hear and needs help. That's what is the truth. How we can help the child to get a language and lead a normal life that does not limit her as a person is of vital importance and a single point focus. It's a long and time taking path and one needs to keep walking with faith , dedication and faith. To me personally "deaf" or " hearing impaired" doesn't matter. She needs hearing aids to hear and then work around her day is all that matters. Put on hearing aids with appropriate gain and give her speech therapy so that she can stand up for herself and start to speak into this hearing world was most important. Now when she talks, sings, dances people just say... "Oh ! She wears hearing aids! Well, we can't make out that she can't hear! She speaks like us all and understands everything." To me that's a moment of pride and happiness and terms used are of no relevance anymore.  
Sharing an article for those who want to understand more about it. 

Monday, July 18, 2016

Holidays over

An old post yet worth a share. 
It's been a very long and hectic holiday. We really moved around in the last one month of the holidays. It's tiring and tells on your bones packing and unpacking. What also takes a toll on is Prisha. She was exposed to a lot of family and dear friends. She interacted with all and had shared chemistry with everyone. Played games and chatted with new faces and some very old. She tried to finish her holiday homework which she detests but managed to cope and keep in touch with a bit of studies. I am not anti homework as it bridges a gap between the school and holidays. But like every year , the holidays played their part. The regression has set in yes as I got busy with too many things that needed my attention. Needed my emotional resting along with building bridges that break due to long breaks. She too was using the basic vocab and barely reading much. To add to all this .... The background sounds in India are so much higher I realize. The fans buzzing , the vehicles honking and whizzing past and the constant TV or music that runs. Apart from few who mindfully kept her alert she has started to not listen to the conversation around. She says "huh" pretty often and it really bothers me and I am pulling her up for it. But this happens to everyone but to deaf kids much more. So we are now back to the grind as they say. Coming home was very calming and gave us that peace that we are in our space yet the break was much needed despite its flaws. Building stamina now for another uphill and tough year ahead when she moves to grade 7! Having faced so much last year , I am more geared up but like they say... You can't be prepared enough. As her parents we have to keep fighting the battle in a world where not many understand or want to understand we parents fight each day. Another year of educating the unaware world , another year of emotional turmoils, another year of victories to smile at and another year of unknown ventures! Let the journey begin!

Saturday, June 4, 2016

A trip to plan and learn.

Equipped with her phone camera , she is a discoverer. I handed her a camera when she was a year and few months under the guidance of my educationist co sister who explained how early isn't early enough. When explained she learnt to hold the camera steady and frame things to capture. Over the years the camera changed but her love to click, pose, compose and edit did not. She takes very good compositions. 
This holiday this is what we did. Discovering a new place ... Made her read material and find out places to see in Jogja. She listed out things , planned the trip, got a lot of insight into the place before she landed there. Soon she was co-relating it all. Loved the way she framed compositions, angled her camera, took notice of light source... Etc. Her compositions are amazing and I love it when she says stand there mum....don't move, turn a bit, hold it and don't smile!  The comes to show me her piece of art. 
Allow the kids to discover early and take responsibility. They are as careless as you make them think they are. Make them the owners and see the difference. Next trip Prisha has to plan earlier!! 😍😍

Monday, May 30, 2016


     A few videos of the past and how life changes. I just opened few doors of my digital album and how my past 20 years with kids filled my life with such mixed emotions. Today when I saw those videos , it has opened up my heart bit by bit. Seeing how I loved them, took care of them, enjoyed being a mother, the tears, the love and kisses all make me immensely emotional. The most tough was seeing prisha's videos. How did I manage to keep sane in those situations? Her innocent smile, laughter, her curls, her dimples, her tears, unsaid words, struggle to say few things she found hard to say, happiness and so so much more. I am having a hard time dealing with them. want to run back and hold her one more time, teach her more, love her and relive my memories of being a mother again to her. Her faith in following what I said, her love for me, her need for a simple hug when I was upset at her performance......oh dear, why do we mums have a heart like this. I barely slept the night.
     I feel I could love her more, give her more tools, tell her she is a beautiful angel who lit up my life. Her curls make me smile, her small dimple too, her twist of head, her twinkle when she is naughty, her cries made me sink but I had to hold up as I had to be stronger so that she can be strong too. Yday seeing those videos have made her fall in love with herself, see her confidence and realize how happy she was. Today I have to work again as a mum to rebuild her confidence that often comes down with the growing up years and the world around. the pressures are easier in the comforts of loving arms of the mother. Growing up and making decisions, being responsible can be so tough to deal with. The world around doesn't allow discounts, they don't care about your drawbacks and issues, what they need is fulfill their own expectations and needs. kids like these need so much confidence building. As mothers it can be so hard to manage these emotions yourself. Holding her up when you could be dealing with many levels of emotions and situations. Can you afford to break down? I can't as she needs to be stronger than I have been at her age. The demands of the world are too many. Can I allow her to be human?Or I ask her to be as mean or as selfish? She is loving, soft, tears up seeing someone hurting coz she knows what is hurt. 
      A lot went by coz I had too many things to deal with. Big family , adolescent son, hearing impaired child , husband working in Eurppe and lot of responsibility. I managed all of it with barely any support. Taking care of everyone's needs and forgetting about mine. Looking at this treasure I was filed with guilt. I should have let go of other things and spent more time with Prisha. The beautiful happy child who made me what I am, her smiles and curls, her chatter and laughter and even just a sob with hands spread out for a hug....that's all that matters today. I feel I should have spent that time with her instead. Loved my baby more. Taken more recordings coz nothing was enough and nothing can be enough. Makes me regret a bit that in the rush I should have loved her more. Enjoyed her more coz thre is only one childhood. I am blessed to have two babies who are amazing. Their chemistry is beautiful. Seeing their memories makes me feel fulfilled as a mum.  Want to go into these images and snatch them and love them. Kiss them one more time and tell them I love you more than anything in this world. This is the only treasure I shall take to my grave. I am happy I made her learning happy and full of art and singing. The stress doesn't show.