I have been away from blogging for so long now and it feels good to be back typing away and venting out or sharing my thoughts (in better words). A lot has occurred in the past years and I hope to be able to recollect and put them down here. Facebook became my mini blogs that captured the splitting moments rushing by and as I type today I realize I missed my writing.
Prisha is in 2nd year university, studying fine arts in the Netherlands. Time has flown and looking back I feel grateful that she is independent and doing a course she loves, slowly making a path for herself. We both were watching a Hindi movie that was recommended by a dear friend. "Shrikanth" is a movie based on the real story of a blind person who made it in life with sheer determination and gave employment to many. He studied at MIT in the US and then started his own company and made it to Forbes. The movie brought back so many memories of the times gone by in my life.
When Prisha was diagnosed as deaf, life came crashing 20 years ago! I had no information nor resources about how I could bring her up in a noisy world and make her independent. The sleepless nights and restless days were filled with worry and tears. Life gave me a blessing in the form of Alaka Ma and I started training under her. Those days I just remember the TV anchor speaking while the sign language was being used by an anchor on the side. There was a mindset that deaf were mute and can never speak. Under Ma we knew we could make it happen and the training was hard. In one of the many places she would take us to expose us to environment to aid speech therapy, she took us to an exhibition that had wares and art/craft by people with disabilities. Most of the work on display was by deaf people who did not have spoken language. I remember being numb as I walked by looking at things while my mind wondered if my child would also have limited opportunities. Would she be able to study what she wills? Would she travel the world and be able to speak like us? Would she have a career or would there be a limitation to everything she does or wants? Would she also be limited to making bags, candles and artifacts and hope they sell in the market and be under the umbrella of .... made by special needs people? Would she able to survive in the world of "normal" people and make a place of her own? Would she ever compete in the "normal" world with the "normal" people like a "normal' human being or would she always be in a "special" category?
It's not that selling wares like candles and paper bags is any less of a job. It's a mindset and choice that is given to special needs people instead of giving them a choice that could help them to use their intelligence and capability. A choice of education and accommodation to be able to get higher education and build a career of their dreams. Since good speech therapy along with good hearing aids were not given to the deaf, they did not have access to good spoken language and hence cannot go to normal schools to compete with everyone. No equal opportunity. Hence they ended up doing such jobs and the mindset is the same. I remember Ma gave us a good lecture on this and how that day I was even more determined to work harder and make Prisha independent and help her achieve her dreams. My days and night went by only dedicated to my kids trying to balance the love and passion for the life of both kids. It was tough, lack of support on many fronts but I didn't give myself a chance to fail. Today she is achieving her little milestones and we still have a long way to go.
This movie today gave me flashbacks and a part of me just cringed at those memories. A couple of tears left the corner of my eyes and my heart is filled with gratitude. After studying and achieving all that he did, people still didn't think he can do more than paper bags! Why do we have this mindset? Or has it changed? Overseas people are open to disabilities and there is better inclusion. Things have changed over the years and there is more support for special needs, yet the mindset in general still needs to change that everyone can achieve their dreams despite the challenges. Thanks to Alaka Ma, we are on a path that doesn't make her disability a limitation in an opportunity, instead we have used every opportunity to challenge ourselves and make it work to our advantage without any special accommodations. She has competed with others without any major issues. We never used the disability as a crutch instead built on our strengths so that deafness doesn't define her and her achievements. I hope people would support and help those who need such help and it is not seen just left as another movie. It is a real story and I hope people stop judging instead see how they can help them. It is easy to tear up at the end of such movies and clap but we need to take the lessons home and resolve to support them by giving them an opportunity they so deserve. The world would be a better place with more people being independent and contributing with dignity to better the world.
