Our silent world

                As I sat one day thinking about my journey with Prisha, words just flowed and as did my tears. I can never forget at least those days. Much has been forgotten trying to deal with it, trying to cope with a loss, horror, nightmare and every word that comes with such moment. But these emotions are raw even today. That one day changed our life forever.
                Here were words from my heart as they poured and they have no format or rules, yet they tell a story of many mums like me. Its not my fault , not anyones' yet we hold ourselves responsible. I hope this poem resonates with mums like me as they are written from my heart and are "From my heart to yours". Sharing them makes me stronger as I know I am not alone. I fought many odds and today can stand taller with her hand in mine just like I promised her 12 winters before. May God give every mum who shares a journey like me a strength and will power to make it there. So here is the day of detection to the day I decided to fight it and make her speak and also sing. Hope it touches few hearts and inspires mums to never give up as you are your child's strength.

                                                   Our silent world

A promise I shall fulfill

It was a day our fears came true

She looked grim, shook her head

Told us about your silent world 

It hit me like a bolt from blue

Ton of bricks or was it a whirlwind

I felt the land below me slide

Every step falling into a ditch

My beautiful girl a gift of God

Fragile, puzzled , twinkled eyes

Your dimpled smile judging me. 

I clenched you tight 

Tears streaming down 

As I left that room

My world shattered 

My dreams now nightmares. 

My heart pounded in its case

Wondering at things that happened 

All my songs gone into the wind

My world suddenly silent

My laughter, chatter and music

Replaced by a silent gloom

Clouds of misery and darkness

Oh future, take me back in time

Tell me please it's all false 

Nightmare, curse or karma

Shake me , wake me from this all

Give me a miracle 

That shall end this all. 

Doesn't work that way, does it?

Reality bites and hard it does

Denial , crying, sleepless nights

Nothing changed the puzzled gaze

Dimpled smiles gone into past 

Pouted lips dying to smile. 

Hugged you close to give you hope

I am your mum and shall fight it all

You will hear, sing and laugh

Come what may in our path

Shall fight fate and give you sounds

Shall give you my songs, 

Will share our dreams

Will hold your hand tight and strong

walk together till end of time

You are my soul, I give you my voice. 

Held you close to my chest

Wiped my tears and I smiled 

You smile at me and lo behold

The dimpled cheek, pouted smile

Kissed your face and your nose

My fingers in your curls

My wet cheeks on yours 

I hold your heart tight to mine. 

Walk with me my little angel

Know not what holds tomorrow

Through thick and thin

I shall be your shadow 

Change the destiny 

Or just make another. 

A journey we partake henceforth on 

My gentle soul, my little love

This is ours and we shall win

A promise I know I shall fulfill. 

Importance of speech therapy

Speech therapy is, I think , the most important part of getting a deaf child to lead a normal life.In the past two and half years of my dealing with this disability, I have come across many hearing impaired children who have been undergoing various training to help them to communicate.But why is it that very few children are able to lead normal lives?In my city, I have yet to come across any child who is going to various institutions for speech therapy actually talking.Their understanding of language and then speech has not been worked upon.Some children are later switching to cochlear implant as advised by the audiologist as speech has not developed.The reason being, appropriate speech therapy is not given.There is no good therapist who is capable of developing it.The parents out of desperation think that maybe implant would help and so get it done.Only later do they realise the complications of it and still no speech as therapy is still not good.
The question arises-why is speech therepy important?
The reason being that a lot of time has gone by from birth without the child hearing.The child has missed out a lot of sounds around him in those many months and years.He learns to adjust in that soundless world.He has to be taught to pay attention to sound.For him it is a botheration and unnecessary distraction after the aids are put.he has missed all the sounds that make meaning to action around.When the child is born , for the 1st 4 months or so he just lies down and looks and listens to the booming , bustling and buzzing world.He lies and listens to..Oh that bang, Oh that is the bell ringing and mom is opening the door.That is dad asking for tea, the sound of phone, something fell down.He is just lying down and listens and making sense of it with the speech he hears along with the action around.A normal child learns language with that.A deaf child has missed all the sounds and the related speech happening around him.He learns to be visual.So to make up for all that and to give meaning to each sound and action he has missed , speech therepy is necessary.
Another simpler way to explain would be this.We have perfect hearing and we also speak well.So why do we not pick up a lingo if we go to a foreign land?I need to take classes and that too many in french,arabic,tamil, bengali etc.Just by hearing alone I can never get the meaning .I need to be explained each word.Language is a sequence of sound symbols .And when they are in a particular sequence I understand it.Each sentence has to have a meaning.So it is the same in speech therepy.Every action, word,sound has to be given meaning that the child has missed out.Also as a normal person inspite of hearing and speaking needs practice to speak the new language, needs to constantly remember new words that have been taught to him and needs to remember the order in which he needs to make sentence, so it is for the child who is hearing impaired.And since the child has not used his muscles of the mouth and throat for so long his muscles there are lax and he needs to constantly be told to keep mouth closed and keep his tongue in the resting position between the teeth so that he can speak.Any language to speak needs certain parameters to speak.There has to be some tension in the muscle to give correct speech and all this and more is the responsibility of speech therapist to explain.We normal people take all this for granted.
The deaf child too needs to constanty practice the newly aquired skill of speech.You need a LOT of patience for this.Also early detection helps the child to develop speech and languge understanding better and faster.He has not developed any bad habits, not gone under wrong speech therepy, not too visual and is easier to integrate into the normal life. I also feel that any aids will do as long as GOOD SPEECH THEREPY is given.
I have been lucky to find my speech therapist.She is trained in AUDITORY VERBAL THERAPY [AVT] as it is called.I think she is the only one in my city to do so and get all her children to speak.I thank God every day for her presence in my life