Monday, November 28, 2016

Our silent world

                As I sat one day thinking about my journey with Prisha, words just flowed and as did my tears. I can never forget at least those days. Much has been forgotten trying to deal with it, trying to cope with a loss, horror, nightmare and every word that comes with such moment. But these emotions are raw even today. That one day changed our life forever.
                Here were words from my heart as they poured and they have no format or rules, yet they tell a story of many mums like me. Its not my fault , not anyones' yet we hold ourselves responsible. I hope this poem resonates with mums like me as they are written from my heart and are "From my heart to yours". Sharing them makes me stronger as I know I am not alone. I fought many odds and today can stand taller with her hand in mine just like I promised her 12 winters before. May God give every mum who shares a journey like me a strength and will power to make it there. So here is the day of detection to the day I decided to fight it and make her speak and also sing. Hope it touches few hearts and inspires mums to never give up as you are your child's strength.

                                                   Our silent world

A promise I shall fulfill
It was a day our fears came true
She looked grim, shook her head
Told us about your silent world 
It hit me like a bolt from blue
Ton of bricks or was it a whirlwind
I felt the land below me slide
Every step falling into a ditch
My beautiful girl a gift of God
Fragile, puzzled , twinkled eyes
Your dimpled smile judging me. 
I clenched you tight 
Tears streaming down 
As I left that room
My world shattered 
My dreams now nightmares. 
My heart pounded in its case
Wondering at things that happened 
All my songs gone into the wind
My world suddenly silent
My laughter, chatter and music
Replaced by a silent gloom
Clouds of misery and darkness
Oh future, take me back in time
Tell me please it's all false 
Nightmare, curse or karma
Shake me , wake me from this all
Give me a miracle 
That shall end this all. 
Doesn't work that way, does it?
Reality bites and hard it does
Denial , crying, sleepless nights
Nothing changed the puzzled gaze
Dimpled smiles gone into past 
Pouted lips dying to smile. 
Hugged you close to give you hope
I am your mum and shall fight it all
You will hear, sing and laugh
Come what may in our path
Shall fight fate and give you sounds
Shall give you my songs, 
Will share our dreams
Will hold your hand tight and strong
walk together till end of time
You are my soul, I give you my voice. 
Held you close to my chest
Wiped my tears and I smiled 
You smile at me and lo behold
The dimpled cheek, pouted smile
Kissed your face and your nose
My fingers in your curls
My wet cheeks on yours 
I hold your heart tight to mine. 
Walk with me my little angel
Know not what holds tomorrow
Through thick and thin
I shall be your shadow 
Change the destiny 
Or just make another. 
A journey we partake henceforth on 
My gentle soul, my little love
This is ours and we shall win
A promise I know I shall fulfill. 

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