The first Parent teacher conference

   

Class field trip

Today was the first of our parent teacher conference at NJIS. I am not one of those mums who would run after marks/grades as much as I see the efforts that have been put into getting them. I live with that thought in mind that each child has their abilities and they cannot be forced to perform beyond an extent in certain areas. I was pretty excited about seeing how Prisha has done so far knowing that its her new school, new system of education and new subjects. To add to it the teachers come from various countries across the world with different thinking and accents. The 3 month trial and work would help me decide if this school works for her. I have seen her less stressed and is very excited about going to her school. Other than waking up at 5:30 am each morning, her complaints are barely there. Weekends are naturally much awaited but other than that, she seems to be fine at school. I am also able to divert my mind and energy into a bigger cause due to this.
     We started with Art and the teacher was very supportive and said since her grades are all A+, he had nothing to add. He loves her attitude to learn, is settled and is like a sponge, he is happy to have her each day after school. He is planning a field trip to the art market close by and I am so excited about going with him. The PE teacher too had good things to say but yes being inactive in that area for 3 years has got her to lag behind but he thinks she is progressing well. The teacher is supportive and understanding and we are so happy to have him teacher her.
     Meeting the counselor at school was very lovely. She said we had a great child, who is eager to learn, settled well and is liked by everyone in general. She was happy that we support her in many ways and did say I was a different kind of mum , lol. She said in the world of parents seeking only achedemics, she is ahppy to see us supporting her every move. So thankfully we had nothing but good things to talk.
     Meeting her Bahasa teacher was great. Prisha came running in with an exciting exchange of greetings. She beamed as we walked in and appluded us for having a good, artisti and happy child who learnt well and she in fact felt that Prisha's ideas in class for activities etc were great. It helped her a lot as well. She offered us a chance for Prisha to learn an Indonesian dance and perform for Indnesian day as she loved her dance at school! We jumped at it! It was great to see the happiness on her face and we can't wait to see how Prisha would do that!.
     The social science teacher was very happy to have us talk about her. She felt Prisha was good in a team as a good player and added her inputs well. She said her attitude to learning, her concentration and promptness with homework etc really made her an outstanding kid. She felt Prisha was excited about learning new things and is very sincere besides being always chirpy! I rememebered how Prisha was always left out at the old school and we just wished to hear anything good where she was part of a group without issues. Those years we only looked for support and here the teacher said she supported other kids when needed! I just felt at peace coz I know my child well. How sad that they didn't see her this part due to their own incapability.
    Advisory is new to us and when we sat down to talk....he said.....Prisha is going to be a change in the world!! I was stunned and kept listening. He said she is extremly positive and hence is a positive influence on her class. She is inspiring and other kids can learn a lot from her! He added she was an example of sorts and they all can learn a lot from her. He addd that he would love if his daughter could have prisha as her friend!! I was overwhelmed as till now we were hoping she can have friends and here a teacher wanted Prisha to be his daughter's friend. You just start to be grateful. He said she had such qualities and strengths with which she was managing her self and her life and these qualities could be brought out and used on other kids! Her dance and speech were a motivation for other kids as not many kids come forward at this age. So her coming out has opened doors for others as well! She is self motivated and finds ways to cope with life and that's what education is truly all about! She has it in her to do things for her. Despite limitations she has survival skills that are great. He was amazed to hear how profoundly deaf she is and yet she does what she does and he is happy to have Prisha under him. He told Prisha she is lucky to have a mum like me....lol. It just felt so overwhelming and gratifying. He took our blog name and said he would love to share it with his friends. He told us such lovely things and said go ahead and change the world both of you! After facing 2.5 years of the nonsense....this was such a validation of what we believe in!
    English and Maths were wonderful as well and they were very open to helping Prisha in many ways besides the regular class work. Her sincerity and maturity was appreciated and they said they would be happy to record things on phone so she can hear later as well. She needs to be challeneged in Maths as she found she could do more and he was happy to support. English teacher was happy to make extra worksheets as well in areas she needs support.

NJIS got my confidence back!

     Music was one area she was very afraid of. The teacher is very strict and most kids run from that class. Prisha has issues singing and kids often look at her when she does sing. The keyboard hasn't been played yet at school and hence the only thing we could think was negative feedback. As we enetered, she came to greet us and we froze expecting criticism. But what awaited was a big huge grin and a pat on her for her dance performance!! She parised her efforts and said since she performed, others can get inspired now and come to dance on stage as well. being a small school, we find less participation. She loved her costume, her rhythm and the whole show! In fact she went forward and hugged Prisha much to her surprize and I could only grin! How hard we had worked for years for such a thing! We struggled to get anything done in the previous school, her lines were cut, she was discouraged from and Indian dance saying the school prefers western!! Here everyone was waiting to see Bollywood. What came as a really big surprise was... she said she would help Prisha do a trial for singing by closing a ear. She wanted to do trials where her hearing aid would be removed and one ear closed so that she can then hear her own voice and see where Prisha was going herself! I was overwhelmed. Its very heartening to know that our hard work and belief and never say never attitude found belief in her. Her speech on stage and her dance made such an impact on everyone to show how hard working and sincere she is and we are glad its being recognized.
     As the 3 hours conference ended I sat in the car still taking in what transpired at school. The flashback of the past years, the struggles at each school, the frustrations each day of finding our way, the constant efforts made to build a rapport with each teacher despite their own ways, the depressions of dead ends, the bullying, the uncoopertaive world around, the people who jeered and hurt us and endless search for the atmosphere where she is accepted with what she is....finally found all that in NJIS ! They believe in her, they support her and they give her a chance....all things may not yet be perfect yet but after all that we have gone through in various schools, she turned out stronger and has made a personality which is appreciated and we are grateful for all that we have here. What one school can do not just for a child but for an entire family! Each teacher appreciated her and me for giving her the right support. It felt good to be recognized by teachers as a great mum who changed her life and each time I said she is the one who made me! She is mature and very strong and our partnership as mum and daughter has only matured over the years. I still yell, correct, cajole, advise besides stressing her, questioning her, listening, pushing and counseling. My role in her life is still long way to go. But I don't have to work as much. I have made her self motivated, driven and positive with all my firm behavior, never giving in to tantrums in early years.
      Such times I rememeber ma'am Hudlikar saying many times....your deaf child will give you many more moments of joy and happiness than you could ever dream of. Just keep working with them and soon they would bring you joy! All those years are bearing fruits in the school here. We still toil, fret, fume and frustrate but for such moments of joy and happiness its all worth it. Each achievement has much more meaning as they come with many more hours of sweat, tears and heartaches. We have much more to achieve as we embark on the next part of the school year. 

Bollywood moves at school

 

 Being into creative arts myself I always dreamt of a little girl who would be into all kinds of creative stuff...in fact I had this dream for both my kids and I saw it equally in both my kids. Yet as boys will be boys, he being good yet doubted himself and eventually have left being a "nag" but in the heart of hearts....the dream lives on. I wait for him to get back into it some day. Yet being a girl child, Prisha loves the dressing, the moves, groves, arty stuff and all things creative. I also have spent her early years teaching her to speak with creativity being a base. Hence she never got bored and was very excited about little things. She picked up a lot quickly.
    Having doubts about speech in the initial years was normal with a deaf child. Yet I always dreamt that my kids would sing as well as I was heavily into singing in my growing up years. So it was a blow to hear that all my singing in the 1st year of her birth literally fell on 'deaf ears' ! Yet I didn't give up that dream and while she did her job in the washroom, I would sing various notes in music with expressions to help her differentiate between the notes.Soon we were singing away our daily sentences and she copied me like a monkey! It was fun time therapy with her doing exactly what I did. Soon started her on dancing with the TV on....looking at all the hindi Bollywood dances. Encouraging her with no idea of how much she was picking up. I feel at times it good to be ignorant and keep walking your belief. She would dance to "Kajrare kajrare" of Aishwarya Rai and I would like it. It kept us busy as well plus the destressing factor.

Touch the sky!!

    Moving to Germany gave her a chance to take part in the International festivals. She performed on all the Indian dances along with her gang of girls. She worked very hard on it and as I had worked early on her in terms of rhythm, she was moving well on the beats.
    She loves Bollywood and hence when here in Jakarta, we got a chance, she would take part in dances. Yet she wasn't as encouraged as they felt the kids prefer the Hip Hop style and modern dances!! She still kept doing where she could manage. Her love for Bollywood made her feel the need to keep pining for a chance. Her aunt would encourage her by sending her beautifully stitched Indian dresses which she loved to show off!

Go for it my girl!!

     Moving mid term in NJIS, we soon realized she had a chance to perform in the Talent show! She was very sure she wanted to do Bollywood! A great chance to wear her lovely clothes. The Indian school suffocated her desires sadly and its ironical the multicultural school was so excited! So many kids and teachers said they can't wait to see her dress and dance in Bollywood style. Her music teacher even said she could dress secretly and turn up on stage to surprise the school. So we were all set and ready to perform. She suddenly looked grown up and all ready to move! She had been sick with the stomach bug all week and was very weak, yet her desire to perform was so strong that she kept all her sickness aside. I was afraid she might have a black out with barely any food for over a week, yet we focused on her dance.
     She watched Youtube for the latest dance Ghoomar and since time was short, she decided to put two together so that she is able to do a 3 min performance without issues. The later half was a dance she had done earlier. I loved the enthusiasm and the way she downloaded an app and found a perfect way to make the music flawless!

It matters to be acknowledged.

     On stage, she did a good job and we heard the crowd cheering for her. It was so heart warming to see each teacher, many parents and kids flocking to her and complimenting! Few knew of her disability and hence they were pretty baffled about it! As she basked in all the glory....she moved to the elevator to go back, her classmates were waiting there as well. They all cheered her and she was thrilled. It was perhaps the first time she found acceptance in class that made her extremely happy. They cooperated in taking pictures with her and she felt so thrilled. Its very important for everyone feel accepted and this acceptance works as a boost for confidence in us. I saw how this change of school and performance made her happy. My friends who have seen her dark phase say she looks happier and face is clearing up. She looks happier and calmer and it makes me grateful for what it is now. We hope to soon perform again at school and help her blossom more. She has been through a lot since her birth and we as family can only support and help her in her journey which isn't easy. Specially being global citizens, life does come with a price!
The link to her dance is Here !

Certificates

Something that we never thought would happen

Her art flourishes after years

      For many certificates earned are a way of life, for few they are expected and earned but for us.....its a milestone each time. Never thought we could come so far. Moving to this school has given a platform for things she never would have learnt. They are encouraging her in places where we thought she never would get a chance. Her learning speech was one of the biggest mission of our lives. But never thought of competitions. We wanted her to pursue art, but we found no place since 2.5 years. She barely touched anything and if she did, it was only coz I would be pushing her into it.Hence these two hold a very special place in our hearts. For many the feeling can not be understood, speech and skills are taken for granted. For us, it was like climbing steep mountains but patience and belief in ourselves kept us on track and today God has given us a direction where she is loving the foundation. Her certificate for speech I held with tears and its perhaps the most treasured one and shall remain so. This art report in 2 months gives me so much happiness. Her previous school had no place for art in the time she was there. Her teacher here encourages her and I am so thrilled to see the approach he has and the gentle nudge but a definite one he gives. I get teary when I see her work progressing and her portfolio has started to show up. She is confident and takes up difficult projects and I am glad the school is supportive. Her head of school had such good things to say for her and I can't be more grateful.
   I know more certificates would come...but these two shall hold a special place in our heart forever. She makes us grateful for all that she is and as her parents every struggle is worth it all.

A new direction...INCLUSION

     

A great start with Her name to begin with...Goddess of learning!

I walked into the office of the school as I had a meeting with the school head. Wondering what to expect as I just had a brief idea based our little conversations we had recently. After the initial pleasantries he spoke about the project that supported my volunteer work at the disabilty center in Jakarta. He asked me to write the name on the white board as being an American, remebering an Indian name could be challenging. I went up to write " Saraswati"....explained to him that it means the Goddess for learning....very appropriate for a center!
Disabilities should find inclusiveness and acceptance as its a huge part of society. As years are going by, more new disabilities are finding space and we are at a point where we can no longer close our eyes to it. Inclusiveness not only helps the child but also their parents as they feel they are being heard and not just kept out. I have to see my vision finding a place. Its been a small cause close to my heart since Prisha's deafness. Finding ourselves as the "odd ones out" most times , I feel the pain of parents who are seeking a place for their kids and the general empathy lacking in society about disabilities due to lack of awareness. Hence I have been very verbal about it in every forum...be it seminars, forums, schools or even communities around me. The bubble that many live in, there is little space for such causes and hence they need to know and feel as human as that creates a more aware society and a better world.
       Inclusion and acceptance of disabilities and over and above empathy for them in the heart of society is on my mind. I have seen and faced how no one understands how much it means to be respected for what you are and are going through. It means even more when you are made to feel at home and included in society. They don’t need pity and sympathy. Just acceptance, inclusion with few adjustments and be seen as human as they themselves are. Hence every place I am at I end up talking about the center I have come across. Multiple disabilities yet all are together and are happy kids. They need to be stepping out into a bigger world and even if a few are integrated...its a step forward. Its about one hand at a time.
     The head of the school has agreed to take a few students and a teacher in 2 weeks and visit the disability school and take it up as a project for learning for the students. I shall be coordinating between the schools! I am so excited about this as its a kind of dream come true! Its just not about my dream for myself but for a few kids who deserve a bit more opportunities in the world outside. Its humbling and very fulfilling and I hope I can handle this. The volunteer group for mums was formed just few weeks ago and is already having many members and meet ups and work is being done as and when needed. This is the next big step! I am hoping that this dream is fulfilled and I can see few kids soon move from the center to a normal school through collaborative work. As I scribbled on the board....I felt as if there was a divine intervention. What a way to start !! Writing the name of goddess of learning on a absolutely clean white board does indicate something!
     Meanwhile I am happy to keep putting my thinking cap, do some leg work, talk to few people around and get few things rolling for a larger purpose in life! Isn't that what we are looking at or should be aiming at? Beyond myself and out there holding one hand at a time! I shall update as the days go!