Friday, March 7, 2008

Tantrum control-2

After 6 weeks of trying to train Prisha to behave and not to throw a fit in speech therapy class , a break through was achieved.I had been wondering why she was so adamant about not talking in class and crying the moment Mrs. Alaka Hudlikar looked at me or crying the moment she corrected her .I was going through a typical low period as I could see that it was affecting her performance in speech.She would , at home too, run to her dad the moment I corrected her, or run to her grand Parents whining and giving a false cry with no tears just to get their sympathy.I tried to get control by bribe, coaxing and pleading her to attend the therapy and she would show her eyes and ask me to be quiet.I was at my wits end and decided not to go for therapy as Ma'am was upset about her behavior and I was the one who was not able to correct her.Today My hubby too got wild and she got a dressing down from him.SHE WAS SHOCKED....well dad never yells!!I took over and in a commanding voice I told her that I did not want any crying in the therapy and she has to go there even if she did not want.She immediately looked like she would break out into the ugly cry and I took cue and warned her if a tear fell out.Well well the trick worked We kept a straight face with a certain firmness and for the 1st time she ate her lunch on her own, went for therapy and was a perfect student.All was well.
From this I have realised that she was testing our patience and was getting her way out of situations as she knew we would melt as we love her immensely.She reacts to me when I am alone differently.I realised my hubby was a cushion to her.The moment she saw that he too can be wild with her for wrong behavior she knew she had no one to manipulate , she controlled her emotion and was ready for learning.An emotionally strong person is a good learner as they have nothing to fear. The moment she knew I was not supporting her crying in the class, she stooped her whining and the insecure behavior.We have decided to not let her control us and our emotions. It needs a strong will power and keeping the stiff face when you actually would want to hug her, is difficult.But then who says motherhood is easy.Having a hearing impaired child and a teacher like ma'am has changed my life.Today she is able to stop her crying the moment I ask her to just stop the big tantrum.I hope to keep it going for a few days till it is reinforced that I would not allow bad behavior and her manipulative power play. I know many of you would not agree to this but I feel being firm and being consistant is the only way of training a child.Today Prisha behaved as their was no one to support her wrong behavior and as there was no cushion she stood for herself and controlled her oun self.I have to prepare her for all kinds of people she would come across.She will have to fend for herself when I am not around.She has to learn that life is not easy and we need to take care of ourselves.

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